Many of us spend a lot of hours overthinking, worrying about things like health, relationships, and work. When we spend too much time thinking about upsetting topics, we often end up feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally exhausted.
What does psychology say about overthinking?
To overthink is to put too much time and effort into thinking about something in a way that is more harmful than helpful.
It involves many thoughts that go round and round like a negative spin in your head, the person is trying to find a solution but they can’t reach it.
What do you feel when you overthink?
It brings worry, sadness, feelings that you are not in control of the situation.
It’s like you are trying very hard to solve something which is out of your control. And the harder you try the harder it is to get rid of this overthinking pattern.
It often brings the feeling of failure!
‘’I can’t decide what to do, therefore I am not in control of my thoughts, therefore I am a failure!’’
Doesn’t sound good, does it?
Well….lets see how we can make our lives easier and manage this overthinking habit.
1. Neutralize the negative emotions related to the past
Going over and over and over past events and experiences in your mind cannot change what happened. It can only trigger negative feelings such as anxiety or sadness which potentially can lead to depression.
So, each time you are noticing starting replaying the scenes from the past in your mind, be brave to say ‘’NO’’ or ‘’STOP’’ ‘’ We are not doing that’’ ‘’ It is not going to benefit me!’’
It’s like giving your friend or your child the best advice you can give, but instead doing it to yourself! It might not work straight away. But trust me the more you practice the better it works.
One of the great techniques which helps you to neutralize the negative emotions and around the traumatic event is called the rewind technique. You can read about it here or we could use it on one of our sessions.
EMDR therapy is great for neutralizing negative emotions and old limiting beliefs.
You can read more about EMDR here: click here
2. Learn to Notice When You Are Overthinking
Pay attention to your thoughts using the detective part of your mind. Almost like it, there would be Sherlock Holmes detecting the moments when you start that negative spin process.
Sherlock Holmes is your friend and helper. If you engage the Sherlock in your mind it will tell you the moments in your life when you are likely to overthink.
You will then eventually learn about your triggers. Most likely certain thoughts or issues would trigger your overthinking process.
Whatever the case, it’s important to be aware of the “hot spots” that trigger your overthinking process.
3. Know your triggers. You don’t do it all the time!
Probably certain situations in your life are more likely to trigger your process of overthinking.
If you’re a worrier, for example, thoughts about the future may be more likely to trigger overthinking.
Perhaps you start that negative overthinking process when you feel upset.
‘’My friend didn’t say hello to me. Therefore they don’t like me anymore. Have done something wrong? What have I done and when? Are they pissed off with me? Most likely they are!’’
Then you go on and on with that negative spin in your mind.
4. RE-focus.
When people are “too much in their head,” this creates over-engagement with unwanted thoughts and as a result feeling of being overwhelmed.
A good approach in that case is focused distraction or re-focus, in which we shift our attention to another train of thought or activity.
An example would be a picture of you stroking your cat.
As simple as that imagine how your cat/dog sitting on your lap looks like.
Go one have a go with it now!
Close your eyes and imagine your pet on your lap
What temperature is the body and how does the fur feel?
What if the cat starts purring ? Would it mean the cat is happy?
When the cat is happy how does it make you feel?
I bet it makes you feel good too, doesn’t it?
I bet you have just stopped overthinking about your old problem??.
5. Get Rid Of Perfectionism
There is nothing wrong with setting your own goals and aspirations in life. However, there is a big difference between wanting a healthy lifestyle and wanting to be perfect all the time.
Perfectionism is unhealthy and unproductive because as humans we are not perfect, it doesn’t lead to problem-solving and higher achievements, it only slows us down.
Perfectionists usually set unrealistic goals that cannot be achieved, and when they don’t achieve them, they feel down and unproductive.
Settings goals for yourself is a good thing, however, setting unrealistic goals will only lead to disappointment and a feeling of failure!
If you are a perfectionist, you may experience a persistent self-critical voice telling you that you are not good enough (I call this Poison Parrot).
6. Challenge your poison parrot!
Poison Parrot is a persistent self-critical voice in your head that spouts negative thoughts.
Treat that negative voice in your head like a naughty pet.
What would you do if your pet would be very naughty?
I bet you would not let them piss on your carpet without telling them off, would you?
Start training your poison parrot- the negative part of your psyche.
7. Use self-help techniques on managing negative overthinking.
Reversed spin Technique.
*Imagine the overthinking as some kind of wheel-spinning, your negative thoughts are inside this wheel.
* Pay attention to the direction of the spinning
* Imagine a remote control in your hand that can stop the spinning
* Use your remote control to stop the wheel
* Start spinning it in the opposite direction away from you
* That’s right, move the wheel away from you till it becomes tiny.
* When it’s very far flick it away
* Notice how good it feels when the spinning wheel is not there.
* Think of those good /calm feelings for a little longer
* Enjoy the rest of your day
If you feel you cant manage on your own
I would be happy to help you!
Make the next step when you are ready!